You never know

Often times we get a thought to do something different then our plans. We may not understand why but figure it's not a bad idea and just go ahead and do it. Little do we realize that those moments can be when we are answering someone else's prayer or find an answer to our own by running into an old friend.

Today I planned to be on campus all day before going to dinner with some friends. I had homework to do and felt set to just sit at the library all afternoon. Well, I finished the homework I had brought and had a decent amount of time left so I decided to head home for a bit. As I was walking back to my apartment, I ran into an old friend and we got to talking about life and lessons learned. As I was talking and he seemed to get answers to questions he had I felt blessed with answers to my own problems in life. If I had not taken that thought of going home to heart, I would not have had that experience. God is in the details of our lives and will help us if we let Him.

Why Smile Through the Snow?

While most people would say, "the weather outside is frightful," I cannot stop smiling as I walk through it. How can this be? Let me share a story with you all...

Two years ago from today, my aunt passed away due to cancer. It was a hard time for me and the rest of our family. I had never felt so alone and questioned everything I had held dear. Just before she passed, she had given me a pair of snow boots that, when she passed, became very important to me.

Now, flash forward to last Sunday. I had been reflecting on the day of my aunt's passing and had the thought I should go to the temple [a house of worship] that day. So, this morning, I woke up early and went just hoping to feel peace. I did and it was wonderful and when I left and saw tons of snow I began to smile. The snowflakes against my ears and face tickled and felt like kisses from Heaven. I had been hoping to wear my snow boots today but, without snow, that was not going to happen. So, when I saw the Snow I became very happy because, in a weird way, it was an answer to prayer.

I know God knows us and our needs. He has made a way for families to be forever and ways to feel peace in a crazy world. I am so grateful for that knowledge that has blessed my life immensely.

A Positive Outlook

Today it began to snow. Usually I prefer to stay indoors when it is cold but, I could not focus while in my apartment. So, I decided to go to the library. As I was walking up to campus to do home homework and study, I had a thought come to mind. Due to some events that have happened recently, I was not in the happiest of moods. I then replayed a moment in my mind of some friends talking about how I was always in a good mood when it was bad weather. That made me laugh and I realized I began to smile again.

How we react to our circumstances has much to do with our attitude. If we focus on the negative, or things we cannot change, we are doomed to remain in a state of sorrow. If we, however, focus on a positive, we can change our views and see the world as a wonderful place.

For example: Last night, someone hit a car which then cracked my bumper. I did not think to get the person's insurance in case there was more damage and, when I made that realization, I felt like an idiot. I also was confused by some different circumstances with friends. When I awoke this morning, none of these things had changed and I had more to do: 3 more midterms to prepare for, take care of my car, and, to top it off, we ran out of toilet paper. That one thought of being positive in bad weather made me realize something I learned my sophomore year of college- when you can't change something, focus on changing what you can- your attitude. I had been walking home in the slush and snow and just because the sound reminded me of "Singing in the Rain," my whole view changed and the walk home became a joy. That's why I am happy through bad weather. I remember that moment and how it changed my whole day and outlook.

So, life may not be going as well as we want. That's normal. Find something you can change or view in a different light and I know it will make everything so much better so that you can view the hardships with a better view to try and find a solution.

With that being said, I better get back to writing my paper that is due tomorrow... Luckily, I have two more hours until class and I am already in the library.

The Window Prison

When you think of windows, you do not typically think of a prison. That was the thought, however, that came to mind as I was sitting at my computer doing homework and watching the sunset begin to change the colors outside and I could not see it clearly due to my window. If I had done my hw earlier, I may have been able to step outside and overcome the window but, due to my own choices, I could not. The same thing happens in life. We build out own walls, or prisons, that keep us from happiness. We need to focus on what really matters and who we really are so we can overcome our trials.

When You Can't Sleep...

So I am laying in bed. It's 12:13 as I begin to type and my brain will not stop thinking. And the thoughts range from all sorts of topics. How do you calm your brain and make it agree with your heart so you can sleep?

So many thoughts.

Is the reason the things I want to work out that aren't because they are never supposed to or because I need to be patient? Are there people who have left my life that I should reach out to or are they meant to be out of my life now?

How do we know?

So many questions and no answers as my brain fights this never-ending battle against itself.

How to conquer it?

I may never know as I continue to toss and turn as I try to let sleep overtake all other senses so that I may have the energy I need in order to combat the struggles that face me tomorrow.

Tomorrow. Another day to come. Another set of challenges and blessings that I do not yet know. To sleep is necessary. Then why, oh brain, do you not let me rest? Please put the emotions on hold so that I may enjoy this night. You have released so much tension already. Any more and I will never rest. I am so tired. Please sleep. I know the smell of dinner still lingers in the apartment air but try to focus on the task at hand. Rest. Recuperate. Sleep. Dream. Imagine. Relax. Good night. 12:22. I am done. I give up and return to tossing and turning. You win mind. Farewell.

True Friends

This past weekend I took a trip with family and had not internet service. This gave me lots of reflecting time. One thing that I thought a lot about was friendship. I haven't lived very long but, I've lived long enough to watch friends come and go. Some have a special place in your heart and then they break it by leaving. Some always stay there even when you may try to leave them. Others have a mutual friendship that never ends. What causes these differences in friendships? Why do some not last and others last a life time? The answer I have come to think of is

change.

from google images

When someone changes, things around them change. I'm not the same person I was when I was in middle school. I am not in the same place. This has led to changes in me and in my friend circle. Even in the past 3 years of my college life friends have changed. I now have many friends in Ogden, UT and other places across the globe. I may pass an old friend on campus who no longer is such a close friend and we may acknowledge the other, we may not. Because I think a lot about the past and reflect on what people think of me, this has led to personal struggles of 'what did I do wrong?' 'why do we not talk?' 'how can I fix this?' but, frankly, it does not mean things have gone bad for either side, but rather, change has occurred. Maybe one day those friendships will come back, maybe not. The important thing is that we keep bettering ourselves and coming closer to Christ. He is who we want to become like and who understands us completely. He will never leave us. Only we can further ourselves from Him. He is the ultimate friend and brother who will never let us down. So, don't give up on Him because He is there to heal your broken heart when you feel it is too late. He is always there.