Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Reflections on Freshman Year

Well, with only a week of classes left and then, finals, I figure it's time to do an update on life here. On Sunday, I went to tunnel singing, as usual, and figured it would be the same as it recently has been: a great time filled with laughter and me scolding the boys for not acting their age, etc. Well, sad to say, this was not the case. It began that way, as usual but, then, it changed. The "spiritual" half of it went super spiritual. We began this change of events with The "EFY Medley" and, as the guys began to sing the armies of Helaman part, I began to feel the spirit like I did at EFY. I did NOT want to cry though. I do not like crying in public. I was able to hold it in but, I could not really look at the guys across from me because I felt such a great love for them. The guys in my ward have become quite close to family, if not family. They are all so amazing and have really touched my life and the guys across from me held a very special place in my heart and most would be leaving for missions shortly after the semester was over so, I would not be seeing them again for quite some time, if ever again. After the Medley was finished, we sang "Families Can Be Together Forever." Once again, I almost lost it but, I just kept myself calm and tried not to cry. However, when this ended, we started to sing "God Be with You Til We Meet Again" and with this one, I wrapped my arms around my friend and we turned around so we could not see "our boys" because we lost it. We both just started sobbing and could not keep the tears in. I could hardly sing! I realized how little time I have left here and how much I have grown to love those around me. I can feel the love the Savior has for them and do not want to lose them. I know missions are very important and will be wonderful experiences for them but, the selfish side of me wants to keep them here with me. It will be hard to make all new friends next year and find awesome guys I can trust and know will look out for me. I know they will be blessed for their service and will lead great and wonderful lives and have wonderful families but, it will be hard to say more "good-byes." I hate saying good-bye but, I know these will be good since they will be serving the Lord and focusing on teaching His gospel to His lost children.

After this whole crying fest and many hugs and a long walk home, more hugs and talks were given with others who had not made it to tunnel singing. I think me and my friend scared a couple guys with how much we were crying and how we both would start again very quickly. I love the people I have met this year. I have been so blessed and enriched by their examples and the times we have shared. I will miss it dearly but, I will always have the memories and the pictures to reflect upon and continue to learn and grow from. It would be very difficult to forget all the wonderful things I have experienced and learned from those around me. It will be difficult to forget the love I have gained for those I have met and the feeling of love the Savior has for each of His children. Even though it has to come to end, I am grateful to everyone I have met and who has helped me grow and learn more about myself. Thanks BYU. Thanks 46th ward. Thanks boys. I will miss this time together. 

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